My Wedding Policy

[Please Note: If your wedding is to take place at a church
you will need to acquire and read that church's wedding policy in addition to
this one.]

So, You Want to Get Married

I am honored that you want me to be a part of this sacred moment in your lives. I find that working with a couple as they prepare to get married can be a blessing for me. I have also learned that it is best to be honest about certain expectations up front. Therefore, I have prepared this Wedding Policy to share with couples who invite me to have a part in the service.

My Position as a United Methodist Pastor

I am an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. As such I am bound to adhere to the current Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church and the rubrics of the "Service of Christian Marriage" as contained in the current Book of Worship of the United Methodist Church. While these documents allow for a good deal of flexibility they do spell out some limitations. Please don't expect me to violate those limitations.

Weddings Beyond My Current Parish

If I am to lead or take part in a wedding ceremony in a church (or church property) other than the church I am currently appointed to by my Bishop, I must receive a written invitation from the pastor of that church.

Scheduling the Wedding and Rehearsal

All dates must be approved by me before I can agree to take part in the ceremony. Additionally, the dates will need to be approved by whatever process the church uses for scheduling weddings and related events. At my current appointment, Horne Memorial UMC, the person who handles the scheduling is Sarah Norris. You must contact her to schedule a wedding at Horne Memorial United Methodist Church.

Pre-Marriage counseling

All couples must receive premarital counseling as part of the pre-marriage process. This counseling includes the use of a personality type indicator. It also involves a discussion of the liturgy of the wedding and the planning of your service. Other matters may be brought up by me (or by you) as a part of the counseling process. Under some circumstances (if I approve), it may be appropriate for someone other than myself to actually do the counseling. I provide a form that must be signed and returned by the person who does the counseling.

Reimbursibles

If I am to travel outside of the normal boundaries of my parish I expect to be reimbursed for all of my expenses, including (but not limited to) travel, meals, and housing.

Compensation

If you are getting married at Horne Memorial UMC and it you are not active in the life of the church (with both your presence at worship services and in financial support), I expect you to adequately compensate the church for my time. This is separate from any other fees that may apply from the church. At this time the expected amount is $250.00 and must be paid at least 2 weeks prior to the wedding. This is such a small amount when compared to the overall cost of the wedding and it doesn't really cover the cost to the church for my time.

Note that I did not say anything about being a member of the church. For the purposes of compensating the church for my time, membership is irrelevant. What matters is if you are currently support the life and ministry of this church.

Honorariums

I do not charge for doing weddings. If you wish to make a gift or honorarium to me that would be acceptable. If you wish to make a gift to a specific ministry or mission in my honor, that would also be acceptable. The issue of an honorarium is completely separate from matters of reimbursibles and compensation to the church for my time.

End Note

This policy statement cannot anticipate every situation. If you have any questions regarding matters discussed here, or any other questions, mention them now.

 

Current as of May 15, 2007
(This version supercedes all earlier versions)
Alan P. Swartz